I got married with Shamsa in the first quarter of 2000. It was a unique kind of marriage - neither arranged nor founded on a love story and even not planned. It just happened during one of my trips to Islamabad in March 2000, to attend and present a paper on Islamic banking. We were introduced by an aunt on a cup of coffee at Marriott Hotel in Islamabad. In five days the two families (mine and of Shamsa) agreed to marry us off and within ten days we were married. Three days after our marriage, I was back in Loughborough and Shamsa joined me later after about twenty days. We now live in Essex with our two sons and a recently born daughter. In Shamsa's opinion, "the family is now complete," and hence "no more children."
Somehow I had preferred to have four children but was forced to review this view after experiencing the parenthood. It is a difficult job, especially if one lives in a Western country, without or with limited help from extended family. I just wonder how my mother managed to give birth to nine of us (six sisters and two brothers) and managed to see them married off before leaving this world.
I must say that giving birth is a tough call. After observing my wife in the delivery suit at Whipps Cross Hospital (in London), where she gave birth to our daughter recently, I revised my long-held view that delivering a baby was like emptying the bowels, with constipation ... probably with ninety fold intensity of pain in the former case. I now think that the pain of delivering a baby is probably around one thousand times more than emptying the bowels with constipation. Given this change in view, we have agreed to call a truce... three children ... for the time being... out of a possible dozen.
My children
Hashoo & Sheroo in summer 2008
I have two sons: Hasha Humayon Dar (aged 7) and Sheriell Humayon Dar (aged 5 in March), and a recently born daughter Bashna Elize` Dar. Hasha and Sheriell were born in Leicester while I worked at Loughborough University (1998-2004), and Bashna was born in London. Please go to the web links below to read more on Hashoo and Sheroo, and their sister Bashna.